SHC15.C15: That Crest—Is Just Too Damaging

15. "That Crest—Is Just Too Damaging"

The wink Romanov-sensei threw may have obliterated this white pig, but it didn’t faze Utsunomiya-san in the slightest—probably because she’s used to being surrounded by beauties like baby-faced Regulus and her own lovely reflection. She was still glaring sulkily at Romanov-sensei.

More importantly, though, Regulus had started dozing off again… on my belly. Could someone please remove him?

And if the conversation is over, I’d very much like to eat breakfast and go about my usual routine. But to do that, I need to change.

“Um, if we’re done talking, could I ask everyone to step outside for a bit? I need to change.”

At my request, both Romanov-sensei and Utsunomiya-san flinched in alarm.

“You can’t possibly think you can dress yourself in your condition!”

“Exactly! You fell down the stairs protecting Regulus-sama. That kind of impact puts far more strain on the body than falling alone!”

“Wait—really? But I don’t feel that bad…”

Yes, it hurt like hell when I first woke up, but now? Honestly, I felt fine. In fact, the bandages on my arms and calves were making it harder to move than anything else.

Ugh, this is a hassle. Off they go.

Peeling the bandages off reminded me of unwrapping fish sausage from its plastic casing. Kinda surreal.

“Hōchō-kun, you mustn’t—! It might aggravate your inju—wait, what!?”

“Huh? There’s no wound!”

“Wait, you had wounds?!”

Under the bandages, my usual pudgy, squishy body was completely intact. Curious, I removed the others, and sure enough, there wasn’t a bruise or scrape in sight.

Utsunomiya-san and Romanov-sensei stared in shock while I blinked back in confusion. Then—

“Ah!” Romanov-sensei suddenly exclaimed.

“That peach you were sharing with your brother earlier—was that a gift from the Princess?”

“Yeah, it was. But how’d you know?”

“I informed the Princess this morning that you couldn’t appear before her due to your injuries. Upon hearing that you fell down the stairs, she frowned and said: ‘Focus on your recovery and return to sing for me at once.’ She also realized you hadn’t yet eaten the peach she gave you and said, ‘Tell him to eat it immediately. The wounds will vanish at once. If he’s too stingy to eat it, I’ll simply give him another.”

“Wait, that peach… had healing effects?”

“It would appear so. That would explain why you recovered after just a bite.”

“A bite? Just one?”

“Yes, Regulus-kun was hungry, so I fed him most of it… Is that bad?”

As if on cue, Regulus—half-asleep—slowly opened his eyes. Romanov-sensei didn’t even glance his way and simply shook his head.

“I don’t think it’s a problem, but… Hōchō-kun, are you truly fine now?”

“Yes. Before eating the peach, it felt like I was in hell. But afterward, I completely forgot the pain.”

I gently slid Regulus’s head aside, got out of bed, and unwrapped the bandages from my legs. My squishy legs popped free—uninjured and markless.

“Incredible… I’d heard rumors, but the Immortal Peach really lives up to them.”

Romanov-sensei muttered as he inspected me thoroughly, visibly impressed. The Princess’s peach was evidently a national treasure.

Meanwhile, Utsunomiya-san was acting strangely—shaking Regulus awake and lifting his arms while murmuring things like “Immortal Peach… is this even real?”

She’s definitely one of those people.

Once they were convinced I was fine, I shooed them both out so I could get changed.

I picked out a blouse and pants like usual, and just as I was finishing, a soft knock came at the door.

“Young Master, Regulus-sama—your parents are waiting in the drawing room. They’ve requested you come with Romanov-sensei and Utsunomiya-san.”

“Ugh… okay.”

I didn’t think I had anything to discuss with those two, but if I was summoned, I had no choice.

Probably related to that “son-in-law head of house” comment earlier…

Still grumbling, I woke up the slumbering Regulus. In all honesty, it may seem questionable to drag an injured child into a family meeting, but considering my lack of importance in this household, it was a common practice.

Led by Rottenmeier-san, the four of us arrived in the drawing room. My father and mother sat across from each other on fine leather sofas. Sebastian, of course, loomed behind my mother.

“I’ve brought them.”

“Ah…”

Father acknowledged her and gestured for Romanov-sensei to take a seat. For some reason, when Romanov-sensei sat down, he pulled me into his lap.

“Hōchō-kun, you’re still recovering. Please take it easy.

“Ugh! No way, I’m heavy!”

“You’re not as light as a feather, but I don’t mind.”

Lies. I am definitely heavy. But no matter how much I squirmed, he held me firm.

Now that I was sitting on his lap, I realized he was surprisingly muscular under those robes. He was a man of stealth and fitness.

Meanwhile, I was squishy. Very squishy.

“I’ve heard the details from Rottenmeier. I apologize for Utsunomiya’s rudeness.”

“Oh please! That girl has no ties to this family. Do with her as you see fit!”

Father grimaced as he apologized, and Mother immediately shrieked a denial.

“This is precisely why lowborn servants are so troublesome—ignorant and shameless! To think she dared call Sir Alexei Romanov, a certified imperial hero, just a mere son-in-law! Outrageous!”

“Mere!? You’re one to talk, you desperate hag who threw away all dignity just to nab him!”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?”

Is this really the kind of thing you argue in front of a guest?

Rottenmeier-san looked like she wanted to disappear. Utsunomiya-san, still holding Regulus’s hand, had her head down, on the verge of tears. Sebastian, meanwhile, grinned like he was watching a soap opera.

He’s not loyal. He just enjoys people’s misery.

Romanov-sensei noticed my glance and gave me a sly smile. I sighed and raised my hand like a student.

“Yes, Hōchō-kun? What is it?”

“What exactly is an ‘Imperial Certified Hero’?”

At my question, both parents froze in alarm.

“It’s a title bestowed by His Majesty upon those who have performed extraordinary deeds for the Empire. They receive an official certificate recognizing them as heroes.”

“Wow… so Sensei’s an amazing elf, huh?”

“More or less. I once defeated a dragon that two imperial divisions couldn’t handle.”

“I have no idea how strong that is!”

“Neither do I, honestly. That was about a hundred years ago. I’ve gotten stronger since then. The certificate basically says, ‘Do whatever you like unless you raise your sword against me. Your only superior is the Emperor. No one else can command you.’”

…He’s on a whole different level.

This doesn’t bode well for Utsunomiya-san. I mean, I didn’t know either, so I have an excuse. But what does that say about the Kikunoi household?

“I can understand why you, a five-year-old, wouldn’t know who I am. I never told you, and I asked Rottenmeier-san to keep quiet. But for someone chosen to serve as a tutor’s assistant? Not researching their master’s background is… well.”

Yup. No dice.

And since her house is technically a Kikunoi branch estate, this definitely reflects on us. Not good.

What now? How do we get out of this mess without making things worse?

I glanced at my parents, but they were too busy arguing again to care.

Let’s review the situation:

Father wanted Romanov-sensei to tutor Regulus.

Sensei refused.

Utsunomiya-san didn’t like his reason, so she picked a fight.

Now everything is chaos.

“So Father asked Sensei to tutor Regulus because he’s super famous and amazing, right?”

“It would seem so. I declined, though.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Simple. I wasn’t interested.”

“…Wasn’t interested?”

“Yup. I already have an incredibly amusing child right here—someone who sprouts new skills the moment I blink. Why would I look elsewhere?”

…Wait, that’s my fault!?

“But—but what if Regulus-kun is the same? He might develop skills too. He is partially related to me.”

“That’s possible. But you’ve already shown both ‘Green Hand’ and ‘Blue Hand’ skills at five. That’s… hard to top.”

“He might gain those if he stays here!”

“Then he’d just be a second-rate copy of you. Even less interesting. So no, that argument doesn’t work.”

“Boo… you’re no fun.”

I puffed up my cheeks, and Sensei squished them with both hands. Utsunomiya-san looked stunned. Regulus just stared at me in silence.

All right, next strategy.

“Then let’s talk contracts.”

“Ooh, going the legal route. Nice.”

“Exactly. Utsunomiya-san tried this earlier, remember? She was basically asking: ‘If you eat our food, why won’t you listen to my father?’”

“That’s likely what she meant. Her delivery was poor, though.”

“Yes. I apologize for her tone.”

“Apology accepted.”

“Thank you. So, back to the topic—what kind of contract do you have with the Kikunoi family?”

“Ah. Let’s ask Rottenmeier-san.”

Sensei turned to her with his usual calm, classroom tone. The entire room, once so noisy, quieted down.

“Regarding that… the Kikunoi family has no contractual employment relationship with Lord Alexei Romanov.”

“Whaaaaat!?”

You mean… he’s not even a hired tutor!?

Romanov-sensei grinned like a mischievous child.

“In the Empire, when a noble is requested to provide room and board for a certified hero, they cannot refuse. I asked to stay here. In return, I volunteered to tutor the young master.”

“Nooooooo! My last strategy was never even valid!”

“Too bad, Hōchō-kun.”

Ugh! He’s a volunteer! Which means no one has the right to make him do anything!

We’re totally doomed.

“Sorry, Regulus-kun. I couldn’t convince him…”

“Don’t give up, Young Master! Like they say, It’s only over when you quit!’”

As I watched Utsunomiya-san raise her fist in support with a nostalgic anime quote, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Eunie: Thanks for reading~!!

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